Think perfect bath. Probable cases that top the list, you think of the famous baths of Queen Cleopatra. A huge bath of lukewarm milk Annesse in which to lounge for hours. The ideal bath for the skin soft, silky and free from impurities.
Speaking of skin soft, silky and free from impurities, Have you ever seen the skin of an elephant? If yes, well, you know how the skin of this animal is anything but soft, silky and free from impurities.
The substance is difficult to describe a type of leather, half-hot half-cold very hairy, very dirty and very rough times.
Personally, I am convinced that the elephant is an animal refined and pretty who loves good food (he eats only leaves the cooler) and who loves good skin care ... which explains his love for swimming in the river and s'aroser boby-body with his trunk.
But the elephant has forgotten a minor detail and that's where Cleopatra would have changed the course of the history of pachyderms. Cleo was so became a student of elephants instead of playing with fefesses Caesar, it would have shown the importance of the animal to swim in a clean liquid.
Elephants would have asked again and to meet demand, Cleo would have created a horde of students of elephants and its teachings on personal care would have through the ages.
Unfortunately, this dream scenario never materialized for the animal who must now settle for dirty water.
I knew that the elephant bathing in these waters all but clear when, with my fellow expedition, we drove on the back of the animal, the elephant in the river to bathe in the afternoon.
I had the honor of being the biggest elephant in the group. But more large animal said larger "whole". I was hoping to own an elephant in person at the River. I flattered her head telling her stories of Cleopatra and telling him that I would give him the biggest bone he was nice. Nothing is enough to convince my beast.
At the moment he put the legs in water, the valves are open: un jet de pisse aussi puissant qu'un boyau de pompier (quand ton engin fait trois pieds de long par huit pouces de large, tu entres dans une catégorie supérieure de pisseur professionnel)pendant près d'une minute et neuf belles balles vertes grosses comme des noix de coco. Ploc, ploc, ploc (et non plouc... plouc, c'est pour les livraisons humaines... quand ce qui sort de ton anus pèse cinq livres, ça fait ploc dans l'eau!)
Et ainsi s'exécutèrent aussi ses compagnons à leur entrée dans l'eau. Bon appétit! Et que le fun commence!
L'animal se fait aller la trompe pendant que je suis sur son dos. Les boules vertes flottent et s'approchent dangeureusement de mon pied (25 inch ... 15-inch ... 10 inches ... 5 inches). I do not know where is the pee, but it is clearly in the vicinity.
-Tasse toé, dude, there's shit that floats around ....
Not a chance ...
Never mind, the elephant will "bathe" and I am the heir of 90% of the water that comes out of his trunk. The elephant tripe. Me too, but I am tripping a bit more if I was not surrounded by 17 balls of shit!
Hint, if you take one day at the event (which I highly recommend), do not open his mouth to yell at your friends that you just do Splasher solid ... the elephant probablement en train de préparer sa prochaine livraison et vous risquez de vous rincer la bouche avec autre chose que du Listerine. En toute circonstance, la bouche fermée et respirez par le nez.
Autre conseil, à votre retour à l'hôtel après votre petite expédition, lavez-vous au PC. Vous ne sentirez peut-être pas à quel point vous sentez mauvais. Mais après vous être fait asperger d'eau au moins 50 fois, vous être fait envoyer l'air fétide de la trompe une bonne trentaine fois et vous être fait éternuer dessus, je confirme que vous sentez la charogne.
Désolé Cléo, j'ai fait ce que j'ai pu...
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